The Amaranthine Poet

We Are Blurs

There is something in heavy rainfall that
Makes you estranged
When sound is caught
In the tangles of roaring wind
And
We are blurs
I had a dream once that
I opened my door
And the world was filled with blood
And blood painted the clouds
A rusted orange
And darkened damp alleyways
Where little fingers were maimed
By teeth that are blunt.
Not sharp
Because
Monsters don’t look
Like silhouetted,
Leafless trees
And limping shadows.
They don’t spread out their
Skeletal wings
And scrape against the red ochre sky.
Monsters don’t have
Layers of eyes
And a heaving voice.

Monsters hide.
Behind the cream of blushing cheeks
And eyes that smile with the laughing
Mouth
Behind radiating words
That flitter down
Like golden cinders.
They hide their forms
Against the grainy colors
Speckling the air
Which appear as you stare into blackness
And you realize
You’re standing so close to them
Staring into the vacancy
Where the soul and heart should be
But instead
You find the monsters there.

- Jenna Awad

Self Diagnosis

Many of my friends have classified me as mildly mysophobic; however, I have realized that I am not necessarily mysophobic regarding the dread of contracting infectious bodily diseases but rather of contracting infectious societal and humanistic diseases; yes, I am societally mysophobic.

This is not an irrational claim. Look at how disturbing the world is and how easily corrupted and impressionable its citizens are. It is apparent that the world evolves and its social evolutions are not entirely positive modifications, but instead of resisting, people succumb. In essence, they allow themselves to become infected. Like engaging in a ten second long kiss with a man who is leprous and infected with the flu. I’m not quite sure what would be so physically alluring about such a person…but the same wonder pertains to questioning what is so alluring about such a dysfunctional world.

Now before you characterize me as a “glass half empty” individual, which I am not, let me just say that I don’t think the world is altogether terrible. I just feel that people are becoming increasingly non-compassionate and numb to the twisted circumstances that others are enduring. I don’t even have to mention any because they are vastly obvious, but to name a FEW anyway: the position, or lack thereof, that parents are taking in their children’s lives; the treatment and discrimination toward women, globally, which goes way beyond any type of sexism; how easy it is for one person to harm/abuse another; the fact that money causes people to become entirely unethical; and even, not trying to be humorous, but the terrible turn that art/music have taken.

I’m not saying that all the issues present were non-existent before recently, but they are all part of the societal diseases which I refuse to contract. They are the leprous, flu-infected man who I refuse to kiss. They are the diseases that set themselves, discreetly, on a public doorknob or between the gleaming fingers of a pretty political figure, and I intend to wash my hands promptly after making contact.

Anyway, just a helium-like thought filling my balloon-like mind.

-Jenna Awad