The Amaranthine Poet

There is a Place

February 1, 2010 on 4:39 am | In Everything | No Comments

There is a place I have been. A place where I want to stay. But it’s so hard to step away from this obnubilated world. Everything is a distraction. Everything is an obstruction. Everything pulls me away. I go to scary places and hide away from safety.
So, what can I do. When I am being pulled in two directions. All of me wants to go with you. But part of me always stays with the world. But. I cannot be. Cannot thrive. Cannot exist. Without you. I am lost. Nothing compels me the way you do.

And I still remember that night…

When they stopped and put the instruments to rest. The voices became as still as the past. We knew you were there and here and all around us. Faces never more beautiful as when they looked toward you. Reflected your beauty. Tears never more pure as when they became the myrrh that covered your feet. And what we said to you. Whispered and shouted. When you filled the atmosphere. When your presence was as sweet as honey. Incense from the tender sun. When we didn’t care about raining gems, dripping crimson on the tops of our trembling hands. When we didn’t care about who we were or would become. When all we cared about was you. The ocean that rushed over the fire from our heads. Cool and green and shimmering stars and dew. And we knew your name. The name that was once within an ark of a covenant, written upon our hearts. The name that is warmer than the golden flakes of sun on the face of a tranquil rose. The love, that tore the curtains down, bursting from our cores. The ocean crashed into the arid shore of our souls and our praise was its powerful, roaring song. Like birds dispersing, quivering over a blushing horizon, was our awakened emotion. And then you came to me. I was not just a face among many. I was not just a face. The billowing white around me. Stuck inside the mirrors of diamond clouds. I’d heard I wasn’t supposed to touch you. Don’t blemish the lamb. I was fully aware of how I bled. Afraid to stain the pearlescent white that ran like silk below your feet. I cowered back. I could never be them. I was too deep. Too far off. Pulled behind the black bark of trees rooted so tightly to the world. My feet were tangled in the knotted weeds, in the blackened boughs. And then that ocean came again. When you looked down at me. Captivated my heart. And nothing could express what I felt. Not the grandeur of a landscape sculpted by the winds and seas, nor a nocturne sung by the rustling leaves and the mellifluous cries from the honeyed beaks of the sweetest birds. What filled my heart in that moment overwhelms even the most consummate of all glories. You came down and swept me up. Pulled me close into your arms. The ocean came and ripped apart the bonding roots, took me out of the blackened tree. You stayed with me. In the place I’ll never want to leave. In the place I’ve been waiting for years to return to. No one could ever save me the way you did. You defended me in my weakness. Though I have never been strong, you’ve covered me with your holy cloak. Amaranthine and precious. This world tries to consume me but you protect me. You studied me. Knew me in an instant. Renewed me in the instant that you held me and knew me. You wept for me and with me. Your tears came through me. A scintillating fall of cascading waters rushing through me. Purified the wrong within me. Illuminated the dark surrounding me. Filled the holes inside me. I breathed when you put your hand on my heart and understood my affliction. And in that moment. I remember. You are my refuge. You are that place that compels me. You are that place I never want to leave. You are that place I will always return to. You are the place I can never leave. I Am. Yours forever, Jesus.